Batman & Panda

November 7, 2022

I had a dream last night that there was this novel called "Batman and Panda" where Batman's parents mysteriously dissappeared, so he has to investigate it himself. Along the way he befriends an intelligent panda, which has a lot to do with the fact that his parents were not only famous movie stars, but also panda breeders. This would explain why the pandas in the novel come in various shapes, sizes and colours. Perhaps his parents loved pandas so much that they found various ways of saving them from extinction, to the point where they forced them to evolve and turn them into anthromorphic creatures. Batman and the panda would spend the rest of the novel doing things together such as fighting crime.

The story begins in a courtroom, where I remember Bruce Wayne telling the judge "What do you mean? My parents are dead!" and he's all like "Well actually no and I'll tell you why" and then he tells this whole story about Batman and his talking panda. At the end of the novel, the narrator states something like "Fame and Crime are what makes America truly America, and the panda symbolizes the perfect balance of both topics."

Also, for some dumb reason I remember REALLY CLEARLY that the year 1934 was mentioned at some point in the novel, but.... why???? Is it the year of Batman's birth, or is it the year the dumb "Batman teams up with a panda to fight crime" thing happened??? Was the panda Batman's sidekick the whole time???? Did the panda walk so Robin would run!?!?!?!? Were his ancestors Chinese immigrants??? Was there a top secret panda breeding ring at some point during or around the Great Depression????????